tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-55447474570410846112024-02-02T08:54:16.707-08:00Here, My DearYou're so vain, I bet you think this blog is about you.Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-26151063884052844702009-05-07T14:51:00.001-07:002009-05-07T17:10:16.706-07:00No really...I work from home.As if being a corporate slave is not enough, I recently decided to take on a side job to help bring home the turkey bacon. That's right, your favorite non blogging blogger has two jobs during the recession- stunting truly is a habit, you should get like me. Now in addition to slanging cell phones, I do freelance writing for the entertainment section of rolling out magazine. While having two jobs and thus twice the responsibilities is stressful at times, I figure nothing but good will come from my current anti autonomous state. I have decided to compile a list ( because I like lists) of all the great things that are sure to be accomplished by me being doubly employed. Here goes. <div><br /></div><div>5. I make more money so there is officially no excuse for me and Maleah neglecting to pay our $30.00 cable bill. </div><div><br /></div><div>4. I no longer have to cite this blog as my only writing experience. Someone ( God bless your heart DeWayne) trusts me enough to put my sh*t in print. Now- if only I can keep him from knowing that I am the mother of all procrastinators, everything will be all good. </div><div><br /></div><div>3. I have yet another excuse why I never update this blog. I know I only have a few fans (Anna, Maleah, Paris) but those that love me, love me hard. No homo. Well sorry to say fans, but I am going to have to continue to treat this blog like boyfriend #2. To quote and pay homage to the singing career of Vanessa Williams " I've got work to do... I've got [2] job[s] baby."</div><div><br /></div><div>2. I make more money so there is officially no excuse for me and Maleah neglecting to pay our $30.00 cable bill. </div><div><br /></div><div>1. I have yet another thing to distract me from the apparent male recession going on in Atlanta. There is a drought going on in chocolate city and I don't like it one bit. However until I can find a man that doesn't wear skinnier skinnies than me, I might have to take up jobs #3, 4 and 5. </div>Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-8559777998128415782009-03-19T19:51:00.000-07:002009-03-19T20:50:52.525-07:00Upgrade U<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyGc0zemAf4B5o4WYVdW9b03U8O496xlOy0Ko4kETsaAyBS41pEXnwN_6_lyn8CbrD382w8ZUnsJ5TckR7-bzFPj1w-bioj5QmZpnOyT1d50bgu6qvQLGOHBCP0m5IFEPsJZFERicdxgEi/s1600-h/reggie-kim-gq1.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyGc0zemAf4B5o4WYVdW9b03U8O496xlOy0Ko4kETsaAyBS41pEXnwN_6_lyn8CbrD382w8ZUnsJ5TckR7-bzFPj1w-bioj5QmZpnOyT1d50bgu6qvQLGOHBCP0m5IFEPsJZFERicdxgEi/s320/reggie-kim-gq1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5315112225216750578" /></a>Anyone who knows me will be the first to tell you, I hate to admit when I am wrong. Yes, I am <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">that</span> mofo that will argue a point until my opponent is so confused they eventually agree with me. So imagine my internal struggle when I had to admit that I didn't hate Kim Kardashian... when I had to admit that in fact, I kind of like her. Now, now- be kind and let me rewind. There is no denying that Kim K is banging, but her sex tape with a certain Willie Ray Norwood left a stain on my heart and a bad taste in my mouth (and hers). He is Brandy's baby brother for Pete's sake- Brandy herself is only 1/2 famous and, while I'm no mathematician, I'm pretty sure that once you carry the 10 and move the decimal this makes him negative celebrity. Point is Kim had no shame in her game with Ray Ray (I am sure only the closest of friends call him that) and so I had no respect for her. Until now. <div><br /></div><div>Homegirl is a total upgrade. A reality TV show with two sisters that I hate to love and a beautiful...(cough...clear throat...adjust collar) did I say BEAUTIFUL fiance- she is winning. The recent March 2009 GQ spread featuring Kim and her beau only solidified this newfound like for her that I was desperately trying to deny. They are a hot couple, so hot in fact that I have already started my Christmas list for next year and at the top it says "Santa, can I be them?" Maybe my hopes are a little too high, but hey- wishful thinking never hurt nanbody. </div>Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-73271972194836165802009-02-10T18:56:00.000-08:002009-02-10T19:37:28.890-08:00Swagger on a hundred, thousand...nothing?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjer4XgrTuNvywomwwnPq21IJCy63OA2q-AeGPdy91rTYnzeB8ongWmCEjM-yumluBtT_4gOYg_9l36SF2-5ftAgjl0eFIZ9-zjtVyH50zKO8BE4i7uoIEhnIQf0Zw6x2JVFyiVfw4u-tPB/s1600-h/kanye-mullet1.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 246px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjer4XgrTuNvywomwwnPq21IJCy63OA2q-AeGPdy91rTYnzeB8ongWmCEjM-yumluBtT_4gOYg_9l36SF2-5ftAgjl0eFIZ9-zjtVyH50zKO8BE4i7uoIEhnIQf0Zw6x2JVFyiVfw4u-tPB/s320/kanye-mullet1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301377421417796338" /></a><br />When someone asks a deep, philosophical question I usually try my best to reflect and consider all possible responses before answering. So when my dear friend <a href="http://highendrearend.wordpress.com/">Amelia</a> asked "Why doesn't Kanye West just get some pu-nani instead of wearing it on his head?" I took my time and thought about it. In fact I thought about it <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">a lot </span>and still, no answer. I queried family and friends. I shook a magic eight ball. I even considered converting from my nothingism to Buddhism to try and find enlightenment but that, I figured, was a <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">bit</span> much. It seemed I would live in the dark, uninformed and unsatisfied about this one forever. Until it came to me. That's right ladies and gents, I had an aha moment. Kanye West is a black man with a mullet because he is certified cray cray. The answer was so simple and apparent I had been overlooking it all along. I know dude has been through a lot this year, but talk about wearing your emotions on your sleeve (and your head). Somebody who loves him needs to have an emergency intervention and I mean yesterday. I love you Yeezy but the hair, the emo album and the faux Michael Jackson garb all combined? A girl can only take so much. Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-24683819143743512902009-02-10T15:45:00.001-08:002009-02-10T17:53:27.699-08:00A Letter from the Editor: to my Fan(s)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglIaUCLOaHe3Xol8yJjV1rSEQUpic8mjrKy3Pq3Ob3eHZc6lceYo0HY9cMNZ-ONjUpyQ06vVcjfVZ1tc1zgysMrjcxTZfccN_bALAsCbrQ170vfxSmpddGiRwuSDC3MTfiEoMdTL9gP0iH/s1600-h/l_bc847f4f399015e68107b21f01a43db1.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 213px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglIaUCLOaHe3Xol8yJjV1rSEQUpic8mjrKy3Pq3Ob3eHZc6lceYo0HY9cMNZ-ONjUpyQ06vVcjfVZ1tc1zgysMrjcxTZfccN_bALAsCbrQ170vfxSmpddGiRwuSDC3MTfiEoMdTL9gP0iH/s320/l_bc847f4f399015e68107b21f01a43db1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5301332235090654818" /></a><br />Ok so maybe I don't have multiple fans quite yet...maybe ( just maybe) I only have one real fan. Maybe his name is Paris Kirk. Like all ambitious writers, when I started blogging last summer I had major plans to post something at least three times a week. I figured hey, I have no job and an opinion about everything this should be easy right? Wrong. Since I have moved to Atlanta I have treated my blog like a red headed step child. Seeing that red hair among blacks is rare and usually only occurs in those mixed kids that make you think something mixed <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">wrong</span>, this is especially bad. Because I don't have the money ( and possibly not the talent) for a publicist just yet, I figured it is only appropriate that I issue a letter of apology to my fan(s) for my negligence. So here goes:<div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Paris...um..err... I mean Everyone, </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Thank you for all your support. You mean the world to me, and I mean that in the most Toni Braxton way possible. If it weren't for you reading, the fact that I think I am a writer would be less true than it already is. Other than Maleah none of you are biologically obligated to read anything that I write- and for that I am thankful. (Paris) Please forgive me, from now I blog rain, sleet or shine.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div>I'm back ( for real for real) and this time I am doing it for my fans (cough<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"> Paris</span>). Just keep in mind that I'm and artist...and I'm sensitive about my sh*t. Enjoy!</div>Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-70507147820757079492008-09-24T19:23:00.000-07:002009-01-23T05:50:19.969-08:00Damn Africa, What Happened?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUMNa6XJk3m9DpQ3fQENcxg9hjImmvs9NccDajQGOhqQD4fKbSxC4r2fXp0_iLcfPcum2rhwbXcrmQUp52VuwxhEe9M_YClvXoEiUeTUVyMN1lgF3SvGHWujXI0TH3Zi63Na9bGVwrh4zX/s1600-h/covernellyvipsdesigndz0.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5249780328354699378" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUMNa6XJk3m9DpQ3fQENcxg9hjImmvs9NccDajQGOhqQD4fKbSxC4r2fXp0_iLcfPcum2rhwbXcrmQUp52VuwxhEe9M_YClvXoEiUeTUVyMN1lgF3SvGHWujXI0TH3Zi63Na9bGVwrh4zX/s320/covernellyvipsdesigndz0.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Nelly’s fifth album Brass Knuckles dropped last Tuesday, September 16th and well…nothing. Projected to sell less than 100,000 albums his first week, it seems our favorite Missourian has lost his mojo. Sure, sure I’m the first to admit his current Sean John Underwear campaign makes up for anything and errything he is lacking musically, but to quote The Clipse “(bird call) what happened to that boy?”<br /><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Now please don’t start singing “Hi Hater” to me. Back in the day, I was a Nelly fanatic. When, on Midwest Swing, he sang “what you think we live on the farm, Ni**a be for real!” it brought tears to my eyes and joy to my heart. Being from the Midwest, the most musically misguided region of the country, Nelly was a source of bragging rights. Us Midwesterners no longer had to remind people that the Jackson 5 were originally from Indiana, we had Nelly. So what happened?<br /><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Nelly has released three singles from this album and even if I was forced to choose between reciting a lyric from one of those songs and being a contestant on Flavor of Love, I couldn’t do it. And neither could you. Which brings me to the question of the day: Which multi-platinum, superstar rapper will be the next to fall off?<br /><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space:pre"> </span>Now I know these are hard times in the world of record sales, but really I expect more. Longevity in hip-hop is clearly not guaranteed to anyone, and with upcoming releases from some of the genres finest including, Jay-Z, 50 Cent, Kanye and Ludacris, this should be an interesting question. I’m usually right, but what do you think?</div>Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-660123509440844122008-07-31T14:29:00.000-07:002008-07-31T14:54:14.006-07:00Guess Who's Bizzack?!It's on... it's on, it's on and I'm home, get the Patron and tell them that it's on...no seriously though I'm back. I know, I know I have been a <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">wee bit</span> negligent over the past month but I'se been busy. Laying around all summer watching SVU marathons, reading Bossip and bumming off of Maleah and JP is truly the hardknock life, but somebody has to do it. But no worries- I am back to dish on all the latest and greatest of what's hot, what's not and what's painfully mediocre. Enjoy!Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-25559827166239911682008-06-17T21:11:00.001-07:002008-06-17T23:22:36.092-07:00Best Week Ever (NBA Playoff Edition)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicV78w_iMVHmVAp-8O1SvvNc2Ja-rCTWBGSHJ1AUkvsx26LTrPFysBXjqvOGhZUtjXG5tK-paTMJx8NcIhp8bToK_hJV5cseGvhPnuv3vod4jlQ628wiZ6P_xi6wbsf8XaKycn54HsjAye/s1600-h/c5ba9a95-0aea-41dd-9b38-839ea47d24f0.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEicV78w_iMVHmVAp-8O1SvvNc2Ja-rCTWBGSHJ1AUkvsx26LTrPFysBXjqvOGhZUtjXG5tK-paTMJx8NcIhp8bToK_hJV5cseGvhPnuv3vod4jlQ628wiZ6P_xi6wbsf8XaKycn54HsjAye/s400/c5ba9a95-0aea-41dd-9b38-839ea47d24f0.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5213100856406837522" /></a>Call me a fair weather fan, but because my hometown teams are mediocre at best <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">(</span>see <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Things That Make You Go Eh...) </span>I usually get going when the going gets tough. Tonight however when KG screamed "This is for Minnesota" after winning his first ever NBA championship with the Boston Celtics, I felt, for the first time, proud to be a Timber wolf. No, this doesn't mean I will start supporting them or the Celtics when they are losing, but I must admit it softened my cynical heart. Read below to find out who, other than Minnesotans living vicariously through Kevin Garnett, is having the best week ever. <div> </div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">1.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Paul Pierce's Facial Hair</span></span></div><div>Winning makes people forgive and forget anything, including the apparent kitchen on Pierce's face. </div><div> </div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">2.Vanessa Bryant </span></span></div><div>Sure the Lakers lost but she is still winning. She's banging, her babies are beautiful and while we all know Kobe cheated, what he lacks in morality is made up by the fact that he is fluent in Italian. Like my man Mitch used to say, her life is goooood. </div><div> </div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">3. Notre Dame</span></span></div><div>Goooo Irish! Go Irish! Beeeaaatttt Lakers! Beat La- waaiiittt a minute... it's USC not the Lakers that embarrass our football team every season, but still California is California, and this is war. </div><div> </div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">4. He Got Game</span></span></div><div>Jesus Shuttlesworth is officially an NBA champion and only Spike Lee had the foresight to see it. Now all that's left to figure out is what the hell he was thinking when he made <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Girl 6.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"> </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">5. Doc Rivers </span></span></div><div>Putting it down and holding it down for all the Ty Willinghams of the world. Word. </div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"> </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"> </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"> </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"> </span></div>Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-22017349606996967392008-06-12T21:28:00.000-07:002008-06-13T08:51:59.664-07:00I've Got a Golden Ticket!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifZvtZd15F97vhAMrG_C_QA6ZFzpoWJ5gR2OFgLShUgcgFSYQ-_ODx0cNhgKBJ6FMLU7JhzuctFmn7Hw-aJCY1MSuDHb3O_JQYZpyoenMinsX-wPU3f9oxzeu_ZB7K9ted0CvwlsUYqIUU/s1600-h/d212381e.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifZvtZd15F97vhAMrG_C_QA6ZFzpoWJ5gR2OFgLShUgcgFSYQ-_ODx0cNhgKBJ6FMLU7JhzuctFmn7Hw-aJCY1MSuDHb3O_JQYZpyoenMinsX-wPU3f9oxzeu_ZB7K9ted0CvwlsUYqIUU/s400/d212381e.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5211237184618018386" /></a><div><div><div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Either retire or go to rehab but something has to happen, and I mean now. Before <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">The Carter III </span>dropped I promised myself to not dedicate an entire post to Lil' <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Weezy</span> and all his foolishness but I can't resist. I could forgive the tattoos on the eyelids. I could. I could forgive the fact that you often refer to yourself as a martian. Although the shit is weird and indicative of drug abuse, I overlooked it. With that being said, I clearly also forgave you for being a crack head. Because I didn't feel like you were at the point of having <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">these <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">cheeesseebuurggeeerrrss</span></span>, I turned a blind eye. But this jump, this frolic if you will... I will not forgive. This picture reminds me of all things gleeful, specifically <a href="http://z.about.com/d/kidstvmovies/1/0/U/6/jumpin004.jpg">Corbin Bleu</a>. As my comrade (and partial roommate) Dom put it- you are a GANGSTER RAPPER, no one should ever be able to say they have a photo of you resembling a Disney character, but damnit they do. In most cases rappers can make anything, and I mean anything look cool. But readers take a moment out of your day wherever you are and try to reenact that jump then tell me how it feels...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">exxaacctly</span>. No homo. <br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">With help from Mali ( from Cali) and Dom, the Roommate. </span></div></div></div></div>Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-44832956617123248602008-06-12T21:13:00.000-07:002008-06-12T21:21:29.532-07:00Burn After ReadingI am geeked about this movie- nuff said. <br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/2tEDPZNWG4o&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/2tEDPZNWG4o&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-13890109121538869882008-06-11T08:13:00.000-07:002008-06-11T09:17:54.267-07:00Hawaiian SilkyLong hair, I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">gotsta </span>care.<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"> </span>Lloyd and his locks are putting women everywhere to shame and there is only one thing left to say- how often does this negro shampoo and condition? I love his hair like The Dream loves yo' girl, plus this song and video are hot. Hype Williams lives up to the hype with his one, making me wish I had stars for eyes and an ethereal booty to match. <br /> <object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/A91Jl8N6G-I&hl=en"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/A91Jl8N6G-I&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-75981685787144513352008-06-10T12:43:00.000-07:002009-02-10T19:28:27.072-08:00Things That Make You Go Eh...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBv3Dc4g6bjMHmwCbzVnxnwRjMtoFDMtIT05E5N30oO7DqIl1ztUju9fi1LOxUiy97YIHtOkDyfcz5L5kIzHY5VNckswkf9xm_Lnx9J2R7NcKWe9UrAvp0mcSegre8x4JHWgGbVsMbmhTm/s1600-h/rmoss2.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBv3Dc4g6bjMHmwCbzVnxnwRjMtoFDMtIT05E5N30oO7DqIl1ztUju9fi1LOxUiy97YIHtOkDyfcz5L5kIzHY5VNckswkf9xm_Lnx9J2R7NcKWe9UrAvp0mcSegre8x4JHWgGbVsMbmhTm/s400/rmoss2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5210500400656867666" /></a>Randy Moss is a clown indeed, but at least he gave the Minnesota Vikings a little bit of character. He always made me proud to bleed purple and gold. Even when Moss, upon being asked how he planned to pay for a NFL fine, replied <a href="http://www.slowplay.com/archives/2005/01/14/straight-cash-homey.php">"straight cash homey"</a> I stood by his side. I stood by his side because with him the Vikings won and well... he was at the very least interesting. Yes this response was indicative of the kind of ignorance that makes you question whether or not someone ate lead paint as a child, but everyone has their faults. Moss was a lot of things. Country? Yes. Illiterate? Maybe. Entertaining? Undeniably so. <div><br /></div><div>This Mossian nostalgia has no doubt been ignited because the current Vikings are so damn unexceptional. They aren't <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; ">good. </span>They aren't <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; ">bad. </span>They are just mediocre- stuck dead smack in the middle between winning the Super Bowl and playing for the Miami Dolphins. In light of this mediocrity I have decided to make a list of things that, unlike C & C Music Factory, do not "make you go hmm." These things instead make you go "eh"- you know, the grunt that signifies partial disinterest. Enjoy. </div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">1. The Minnesota Vikings</span></div><div>For the most part the players are mildly attractive, mildly literate and only mildly talented.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">2. The Minnesota Timberwolve</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">s</span></div><div>Ok so <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">maybe</span> Minnesota isn't the best place for athletics. Although I put on for my city (on on for my city) I have to admit the T-Wolves just aren't <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">that</span> great.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">3. Lil' Waynes </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The Carter III</span></span></div><div>Remember the point in the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Temptations Movie </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="">when</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"> </span>David Ruffin starts to refer to himself in the third person- that's where Weezy is in his career. Straight crazy. His lyrics on the album are aiigghhtt, but mostly the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">The Carter III</span> is a lazy slur of well...aiigghhtt lyrics. </div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">4. Hillary Clinton </span></div><div>While she lost to Obama (which rocks my world) I can't let this shadow the fact that she indeed <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">did</span> lose and thus is a LA-WHO-ZA-HER. I guess this doesn't necessarily make her mediocre, but you catch my drift. </div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">5. Amy Winehouse </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">post</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=XIiTU5fyphE">racial slurs</a></span></div><div>Because racism went out of style like 40 years ago, it makes everything less cool including her music and that damn bee hive. </div>Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-64974423346183885882008-06-05T20:06:00.000-07:002008-09-11T09:50:10.796-07:00Say It Loud...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5AhhVdkud2-XTxDLo6q7QRDpx2QrPSqCgsfazLF7gdr7ZE3Y-EiowX84ZOxj_pV5pPrlA46-Gehxo4VP0SebYyQfMFlgQBDvhQanULBaXomTKZ8V49IQdU0RKUPfAK2KfS1B-Dw4tG3jI/s1600-h/39679409.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5AhhVdkud2-XTxDLo6q7QRDpx2QrPSqCgsfazLF7gdr7ZE3Y-EiowX84ZOxj_pV5pPrlA46-Gehxo4VP0SebYyQfMFlgQBDvhQanULBaXomTKZ8V49IQdU0RKUPfAK2KfS1B-Dw4tG3jI/s400/39679409.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5208874840461929154" /></a>Tuesday night was a lot of things. It was monumental. It was historical. It was a defining. It was redefining. Yes, as Barack Obama became the first African-American Democratic nominee for President, Tuesday night indeed proved to be all of the aforementioned. But it also proved to be something more. Something that an American president has never been. Something that the white house, by sheer definition of its name, could never be. Tuesday night was black. As Barack and Michelle Obama embraced each other on stage at the Excel Center in St. Paul, Minnesota to announce their hard-fought victory, they practiced what I like to call a "code" interaction. That's right- they did some shit that only other black people would understand. They dapped each other up. While many may have recognized the exchange, the meaning of <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">that </span>dap at <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">that</span> moment can only be understood within a specific cultural context. I absolutely loved it.<div><br /></div><div>The thing that I love even more, the thing that completely and utterly thrills me is the medias attempt to describe the gesture, calling it a "fist bump" or a "closed hand high-five." Think <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">The 6th Sense</span> when only the little boy could see Bruce Willis, but less morbid- only black people could see and understand the true immensity of that interaction. The dap reminded me of a speech of Obama's that I watched on television a while back. As Obama entered the auditorium, embracing fans as he made his way to the stage, someone yelled out "I LOVE YOU OBAMA!" </div><div><br /></div><div>What made this moment in his campaign so substantial was not the fact that he has a prince-like ability to make women scream "I LOVE YOU" and subsequently throw their panties on the stage -instead it was Barack's response which was simply "<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">and I love you back.</span>" Now to the untrained ear, this response is nothing more than Obama's way of establishing a good rapport with his followers. For black people however, this response meant not only was Barack black, but he was black <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">for real for rea</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">l. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="">This response meant that at some point in his life, Obama has watched Martin Lawrence's <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">You So Crazy</span>- one of the most popular comedic stand ups in black culture. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"> </span>That's right, for once there is an African-American running for public office that is not trying to pass- and it tickles me so. As I wait intently, patiently for November 2008, Obama has surely got me invoking the Godfather of soul- singing off key, but with pride "SAY IT LOUD, IM BLACK AND I'M PROUD!"</div>Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-38657273056308189262008-05-22T10:35:00.000-07:002008-06-04T15:37:59.272-07:00IF this had happened THEN I would be upset<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrJU8z2WqbZIIPEHy6Qd7p8ODo7njTIWstJ3_x8eA5H2rmXRCBU733RzstQUm-6AJc5fNg6_9TcgZut36g88xoZ1sEzvvuYYej9hzTB6v4aeQHsrfkKjTx_TTcNXtTIDhyphenhyphenbKslpMnklWm0/s1600-h/chrisbrownforever.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrJU8z2WqbZIIPEHy6Qd7p8ODo7njTIWstJ3_x8eA5H2rmXRCBU733RzstQUm-6AJc5fNg6_9TcgZut36g88xoZ1sEzvvuYYej9hzTB6v4aeQHsrfkKjTx_TTcNXtTIDhyphenhyphenbKslpMnklWm0/s400/chrisbrownforever.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5203321550696325554" /></a>It's funny how destiny works sometimes. Yes I am a self-proclaimed Sylvia Brownian so I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">know </span>everything happens for a reason and I <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">know </span>that certain things are orchestrated by a higher power. But this was unreal. Last night as I lay in bed, watching television over the phone with JP (the long distance relationship version of spending quality time) I expressed to him my extreme detest for Chris Brown's new song <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X2IExa2A198">Forever</a></span>. Now I must admit, when it comes to Chris Brown, I usually ain't too proud to beg, but <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">this </span>song had me rethinking our fictitious, R. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Kelly-like</span> relationship. But I digress. As I laid in bed, rambling on about the egregiousness of the tune, something happened. And not just anything, something big. In true <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Exodus </span>fashion, the good <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">lawd</span> himself stepped in and played the video for <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Forever. </span>Now, I am no religious zealot, but I recognize the work of GOD, and nothing could have been more perfect in that moment. I no longer needed to use words like "abysmal" or "homosexual club banger" to describe the song, JP could now see the ridiculousness for himself. Maybe said Mr. Brown was influenced by the techno craze that seems to have <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">possessed</span> his girl <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xsRWpK4pf90">Ri Ri</a>, but this is a classic case of when bad music happens to good people. As my militant, yet insightful beau put it "Chris Brown you already dance too much, how are people going to respect you now?" Get it together C. Breezy. Get it together. While listening to the song hurts my heart, this experience has taught me several things. 1. Long distance relationships truly can be fruitful with the help of cable television 2. Everyone, including Chris Brown, can be wrong. And I mean very wrong 3. All the time GOD is good, GOD is good all the time. Amen. <div><br /></div>Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-31110764912034560372008-05-21T15:55:00.001-07:002008-05-22T08:52:20.738-07:00Best Week Ever<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihu5iHRLVKNhm9GLAQnbqARhU4aqRKxQ2hOKU2bOXpcrCLe2ICPoyJCs-bTZc5O5cqE7AXFB7K-zVF9FMi7EH_qy-uhRFv8U8cC2ezzInC5A6xilBGzAt8_fKRpmWhBYVN8xV8yyytOLSv/s1600-h/1-50-cent-kanye-west-400a082307.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihu5iHRLVKNhm9GLAQnbqARhU4aqRKxQ2hOKU2bOXpcrCLe2ICPoyJCs-bTZc5O5cqE7AXFB7K-zVF9FMi7EH_qy-uhRFv8U8cC2ezzInC5A6xilBGzAt8_fKRpmWhBYVN8xV8yyytOLSv/s400/1-50-cent-kanye-west-400a082307.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5203003285812050546" /></a><br />A few things that have made this week the best week ever...well maybe calling it the best week <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">ever</span> is <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">a </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">little</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"> </span>gratuitous, but you get what I'm saying...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">1. The "Lollipop" remix featuring Kanye West </span> </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Excweeze<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; "> me Weezy, but I think Kanye just <a href="http://www.zshare.net/audio/1237669194da52fd/">dissed</a> you on your own track. Yup. He did. </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">2. Barack Obama captured a majority of the pledged delegates </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; ">A minority captured the majority- ain't that about a bitch?! I love it. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">3. Victoria Secret Semi-Annual Sale </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"></span></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"> Just because you get your "Sexy Can I" on for half the price doesn't make you cheap, right? Right. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">4. The season premiere of So You Think You Can Dance <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; "></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; ">Remember when Denzel said "King Kong ain't got shit on me?" IF SYTYCD could talk that is exactly what it would say to "Americas Best Dance Crew" and "Dancing with the Stars." Either that or "hoe sit down." Both would suffice. </span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">5. N.E.R.D on the Cover of the Source Magazine</span> </span></div><div><br /></div><div>N.E.R.D has been my favorite band since I was a youngin' so it's nice to see that they are finally beginning to receive some recognition. That, plus Pharrell makes me want to sing all those high notes from the Dream's "Falsetto"... <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">I'm like ooh ooh baby... aah aah aah ohh!</span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""></span></div><div><br /></div>Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-14731595502368999322008-05-21T14:35:00.000-07:002008-05-21T15:49:48.048-07:00Wild 'N Out...For Real<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlfkvmeI9q6xVCXuK4zBYqyFRSM3BanwmJY-FlzrokIM__5zP_DgWikrTEgdUF04VgT-XaMGGB2DdpWoLYt95fqxrkgnUZXieMxzBAnRDFsMKUIzOqvh2YJ3Z6SrpaU94miHljYt-SmGft/s1600-h/mariah-carey-cannon-night.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhlfkvmeI9q6xVCXuK4zBYqyFRSM3BanwmJY-FlzrokIM__5zP_DgWikrTEgdUF04VgT-XaMGGB2DdpWoLYt95fqxrkgnUZXieMxzBAnRDFsMKUIzOqvh2YJ3Z6SrpaU94miHljYt-SmGft/s320/mariah-carey-cannon-night.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5202954284530170370" /></a><br />While my fictive cousin Ari insisted that this buffoonish couple <a href="http://smallybigs.blogspot.com/2008/05/things-i-refuse-to-discuss.html">should be ignored</a>, I can't fight the feeling. I gotta do it. And I can't even be articulate about it. In fact I want to use every expletive known to man.... what the F*#% is wrong with Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey? I know I only recently moved from the middle of nowhere, Indiana but damn Africa...what happened? What did I miss? Sure I am familiar with the adage "you can't help who you love" but really... these lovers just need help. Of course they are no Bobby and Whitney, but you can not deny the bizarreness of their marriage, tattoos and massive wedding rings. Did I drink too much haterade or is this just really weird. My money is on the latter. Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5544747457041084611.post-29250897254934463762008-05-21T12:32:00.000-07:002009-02-10T19:19:45.471-08:00These are a Few of My Favorite Things...<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhYMofgnc67R2tuM35WSTLnM0sdPMUECeFLB1q7Ks3GK3I_wS6s1PTqhc1PRu2LeG3pSOph2ljfd44S398A6XKOi5zJxfqO-9JRfZU_Yjo7PwL9cgupXaRgVXNXZqM4gN-zUnWSyJ9uLbf/s1600-h/CIMG0241.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhYMofgnc67R2tuM35WSTLnM0sdPMUECeFLB1q7Ks3GK3I_wS6s1PTqhc1PRu2LeG3pSOph2ljfd44S398A6XKOi5zJxfqO-9JRfZU_Yjo7PwL9cgupXaRgVXNXZqM4gN-zUnWSyJ9uLbf/s320/CIMG0241.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5202958407698774546" /></a><br />So I just graduated from college and... nothing. Commencement speakers and family members alike insisted that graduation would be monumental, that my life would change drastically. Everyone (and they mommas) promised me that a diploma would be a mark of distinction, something that only the best of the best and the brightest of the brightest receive. So why do I feel so...normal. Nothing has changed. In fact graduation and all of its fluff was rather anticlimactic. Actually instead of stepping out into the world with a new perspective- here I lay in my bed like I have for the past four summers wondering why, if global warming is real, is Minnesota so damn cold? So instead of letting my mind (that <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">someone</span> just paid 200,000 dollars to cultivate) go to waste, I have decided to blog. That's right. Every week, day or really whenever I get bored or have something to say, I have decided to write down my random thoughts with the hope that someone listens, reads, reacts, laughs or feels the same way. So because graduation did not change my life (the way that every Hallmark card writer had hoped) I have decided to celebrate other random, ridiculous shit. These are a few of my favorite things... hope you like. Skateboard B.http://www.blogger.com/profile/03028872803381722578noreply@blogger.com4