Swagger on a hundred, thousand...nothing?

When someone asks a deep, philosophical question I usually try my best to reflect and consider all possible responses before answering. So when my dear friend Amelia asked "Why doesn't Kanye West just get some pu-nani instead of wearing it on his head?" I took my time and thought about it. In fact I thought about it a lot and still, no answer. I queried family and friends. I shook a magic eight ball. I even considered converting from my nothingism to Buddhism to try and find enlightenment but that, I figured, was a bit much. It seemed I would live in the dark, uninformed and unsatisfied about this one forever. Until it came to me. That's right ladies and gents, I had an aha moment. Kanye West is a black man with a mullet because he is certified cray cray. The answer was so simple and apparent I had been overlooking it all along. I know dude has been through a lot this year, but talk about wearing your emotions on  your sleeve (and your head). Somebody who loves him needs to have an emergency intervention and I mean yesterday. I love you Yeezy but the hair, the emo album and the faux Michael Jackson garb all combined? A girl can only take so much.